Have you ever wondered what a narcissist does at the end of a relationship? Have you ever come across someone who is all about themselves and doesn’t have any problem putting people down to get what they want? Even if this is an extremely generalized example, this can be a representative of Narcissism.
1. Narcissistic Personality Disorder
What a narcissist does at the end of the relationship has a lot to do with a narcissistic personality disorder. The basic indicator of narcissistic personality disorder is having an overly strong sense of their importance. These people have an unhealthy need for and desire for, praise from others.
Those who suffer from this disorder may be unable to understand or care about other people’s feelings. Nevertheless, beneath their outward display of excessive confidence, they lack confidence in their abilities and are severely hurt by the least criticism.
Relationships, employment, education, and financial situations are just a few of the areas of life where a narcissistic personality disorder can lead to complications. Individuals who suffer from a narcissistic personality disorder may generally feel dissatisfied and let down when they don’t receive the particular treatment or appreciation they feel they are due.
A narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it frequently develops in teens or early adulthood. Although some children may exhibit narcissistic features, this is frequently age-appropriate and doesn’t necessarily portend the development of narcissistic personality disorder.
2. Behavioral Patterns of A Narcissist
What a narcissist does at the end of a relationship, has a lot to do with their behavior throughout the relationship, here are some behavioral traits of a narcissist:
2.1. They Seem to Be Bigger Than Life
They stand out because of something remarkable and distinctive about them. Although they may not have much going for them, you are confident that it is only a matter of time and that, with your assistance, they may truly be something. They exhibit a tiny bit of vulnerability and a minor defect in character that you find tremendously endearing.
They captivate you to the point where you wonder why they would want you. They all seem to have some stand-out point about themselves, which they use as bait. They use that bait to almost impress you. Beauty could be an example of this. You might be surprised if they pick you over everyone else simply because of your beauty. What you don’t realize is that this is the opening scene of a well-rehearsed play.
2.2. They Appear Utterly Fixated on you
You don’t have to make assumptions about what they are doing or thinking in the beginning because they are constantly contacting and texting you. Finally, here is someone who can give me the affection I need and deserve- It looks like they can’t get enough of you. They are incredibly curious about you.
You may struggle with self-esteem, but you appreciate the person people see despite your shortcomings. It all seems like a dream, yet they like you so much that they’ve gotten you to like yourself. Your stomach is in knots, and you’re daydreaming about your future together. It seems as though they have elevated you and believe that showing support for you is their only priority. You’re feeling incredibly content and optimistic about the future.
2.3. They Might Love Bomb You
“I’ve never had feelings this strong for anyone. What you’re doing to me and how you make me feel is unbelievable. All I want is you. The only one is you.” They can deepen the relationship and move quite quickly when they use expressions like this.
They deceive and captivate you to establish the relationship. Their ultimate goal is to hook you. They will say whatever it takes to convince you that no one could ever be as wonderful as they are and that they are the only ones who could ever make you feel this way.
2.4. They Display/Seek Vulnerability
If you’re codependent with a big heart and a lot of empathy, this one can be for you. They have an explanation for their frustration. Someone wronged them. They are always the targets of someone else’s vicious behavior, and it is never their fault.
An empath responds best when you share a traumatic or painful experience with them. It sets off their “fixer” mode and motivates people to pay close attention, be vulnerable, and share their own experiences. This strengthens the bond, fosters trust, and motivates the fixer to take good care of, tend to, and heal the wounded soul they have grown to like. A fixer accepts the additional responsibility of aiding in the healing of this injury. It also makes a great future alibi for someone with malicious intent. “I told you I was damaged,”
2.5. They Warn You Subtly
You are too talented for me. You are more capable than I am. I’m not up to par with you. Better is due to you. Many of these may come across as kind and even a touch humble, but a narcissist will never come this close to telling you the truth. You’ll dismiss it as a sweet little affection, but these are cautionary comments. They are aware of who they are, what they are doing, and the fact that they are hiding information from you. Do not disregard this.
2.6. They Begin Playing The Pull-Apart Game
They spend a lot of time making you feel like you’re perfect, and then they start to distance themselves. At first, they can vanish for a few hours or days, and you might feel as though you did something wrong to cause this kind of change in them. It appears out of nowhere, is abrupt, and is severe. It’s quite upsetting to tumble from the pedestal they had you standing on, and you’re frantically attempting to right the situation.
They separate themselves from you more and more the more you try to talk things out and makeup. You are devastated, overreacting, and trying to right the ship by doing things you wouldn’t ordinarily do to enjoy their attention once again, but nothing seems to be working. You’re in full panic mode and are pleading with everyone to give you a lifeline.
2.7. They Come In And They Leave
It is at this risky stage when addiction develops. The greatest method to make someone addicted to something is to offer them a taste, keep them hooked, and then threaten to take it away, any good drug dealer will tell that to you. This is exactly what’s going on. When they return, promising you to love and change, you soar. However, when they leave you once more, you plummet. Until one party decides to break the cycle, it may continue without end.
Your sense of self and self-worth over time starts to strip down as a result of this manipulation, which can lead you to become reliant, addicted, and broken. You’re a complete mess on the inside, and you’re struggling to maintain your composure. All you want is for them to return. All they’ve done to you will be forgotten as long as they return and give you another fix.
2.8. They Accuse You And Neglect Responsibilities
You’re catching them in tons of lies as you try to convince them to still be the person you fell in love with after they’ve played their hand. You can’t rely on them for anything because of their odd behavior. They act in a way that makes you appear crazy, and they then turn around and say, “Look, that’s why I’m doing this because you’re crazy.” They’ll persuade you that the issue is with your response to the abuse, not with the abuse itself.
It takes a lot of energy for them to continue to keep you perplexed. You both realize that once they are found, things will never be the same again. The game may go on, but it won’t ever be as intense as it was since they can’t continue to deceive you. They are surprised that you’re still around and that you want them back, and they feel empowered to treat you any way they choose because of this. They will now treat you worse because you’ve demonstrated that you don’t respect yourself enough to leave.
3. Types of Narcissism
The categories of narcissism that narcissistic behavior might belong to are listed below. While coming from separate childhoods, the two types may share qualities. Also, the two categories define the various interpersonal behaviors that people will exhibit.
3.1. Grandiose Narcissism
Individuals who exhibit this behavior were likely raised to believe they were superior to or above other people. As they get older, these expectations may continue to apply to them. They often boast and exhibit elitism.
Grandiose narcissists are arrogant, domineering, and overestimate their significance. They lack empathy and have a strong sense of self.
3.2. Vulnerable Narcissism
This behavior is typically the outcome of neglect or maltreatment in childhood. Some individuals are significantly more sensitive. Their narcissistic behavior serves to shield them from inferiority complexes. They alternate between feeling inferior to and superior to others, but they still get upset or frightened when they aren’t treated with respect.
4. Signs and Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Signs a narcissist is using you may come in multiple ways. As many narcissists and those with NPD don’t seek therapy, narcissism is currently being researched and investigated. But you might be able to recognize some of the characteristics shared by those who exhibit narcissistic behavior.
4.1. Sense of Entitlement
The conviction that they are superior to others and deserving of special treatment is a typical symptom of narcissists. They think that the rules don’t apply to them and that everyone else should submit to their will.
4.2. Manipulative Behavior
Behavior that is manipulative or dominating is another characteristic of narcissism. A narcissist will first strive to win your favor and make an impression on you, but in the end, their demands will always come first. To maintain control, narcissists will work to keep others at a certain distance when relating to them. They might even take advantage of others to benefit themselves.
4.3. Need for Admiration
A continual desire for praise or adoration is among the most typical characteristics of narcissists. Individuals that exhibit this tendency to exaggerate their accomplishments to gain approval from others. Also, they enjoy being acknowledged to feel better about themselves.
4.4. Lack of Empathy
Lack of empathy is another sign of narcissism. This suggests that the narcissist lacks or refuses to have empathy for the needs, wants, or feelings of other people. As a result, they struggle to accept responsibility for their acts.
When they don’t get the care they believe they deserve, narcissistic individuals who already believe they are better than others may become nasty or abusive. Despite believing themselves to be superior, they may be nasty to others they perceive to be beneath them.
5. Dealing with Narcissism
With the proper care, those who exhibit high levels of narcissism or NPD may be able to recognize their behavior. Both their quality of life and the lives of those around them may be enhanced by this. Traditionally, narcissists have avoided getting therapy because it doesn’t fit with the way they see themselves.
If you are aware that your partner is a narcissist, you may change the dynamic of your relationship and challenge them to modify the way they see you and your union. It is feasible to alter your partner’s perception of you to lessen some of the negative repercussions of narcissistic behavior.
When you become aware of your narcissism, you can start to shift from self-esteem to self-compassion. This entails being kind to oneself rather than comparing yourself to others. You can lessen your demand for praise and recognition if you stop attempting to compare yourself to others.
6. Narcissists in Relationships
NPD affects about 1% of the population. Unfortunately, many NPD sufferers never receive a diagnosis because they choose not to seek therapy. Men are more prone to be egotistical, according to studies. Men make up about 75% of those with NPD diagnoses.
The majority of people do not fit the requirements for having a personality disorder, even though practically everyone possesses some narcissistic or self-centered qualities. Even if they do not satisfy the criteria for the clinical diagnosis of NPD, an increasing percentage of the population is exhibiting more toxic, narcissistic behaviors that are negatively impacting those around them. Attaching people who display these negative tendencies frequently leads to similar discomfort as a relationship that meets the diagnostic criteria for narcissism.
According to a recent study from Ohio State University, a single straightforward question can diagnose narcissism just as precisely as the 40-item exam that has previously been used to do so. How would you rate yourself, on a scale of 1 to 7, please? What percentage of the following statement do you agree with: “I am an egotistical, self-focused, and conceited narcissist.”
You may even take this no-cost, interactive quiz about narcissism. Even though this study indicates that many narcissists readily acknowledge their narcissistic traits, it is crucial to remember that the majority of narcissists reject the diagnosis of NPD. In general, narcissists dislike hearing that they are narcissists. They frequently respond negatively and explosively.
The following characteristics are typical of narcissistic relationship partners:
- The feeling of superiority or entitlement
- Absence of empathy
- Domineering or manipulative behavior
- An intense desire for admiration
- Focus on meeting one’s own needs while frequently ignoring others’ needs
- A greater degree of aggression
- Difficulty accepting criticism of their behavior
7. How Does A Narcissistic Partner Impact A Relationship?
Relationships with narcissists can be quite difficult. Because they don’t fully love themselves, narcissistic couples frequently struggle to truly love another person. They can’t really “see” their partner as a distinct individual since they are so preoccupied with themselves.
People frequently judge their partners primarily on how well they fulfill their needs. In addition to that narcissistic partners often find it difficult to comprehend their partners’ feelings. This lack of empathy can cause a lot of damage.
Nonetheless, a lot of people often end up in narcissistic relationships. In the beginning, narcissistic partners might be alluring. They frequently possess “big” personalities. They bring the celebration to life. They may try to convince you that you must be exceptional as well for them to pick you. Over time, though, they might become too domineering in relationships. They could be quickly offended or jealous. Narcissistic wounds frequently lash out and can be aggressive.
Dr. W. Keith Campbell, a specialist in narcissistic personalities, claims that the impacts of narcissism are most noticeable in connection to interpersonal functioning. The general definition of trait narcissism is “behaving in a way that makes one more likable in first meetings with strangers—but this likability fades with time and increasing exposure to the narcissistic individual.”
This is the reason why many people who have been in long-term narcissistic relationships describe a very passionate and thrilling honeymoon period in the beginning followed by a precipitous downturn as the likeability decreases and the self-centered behaviors intensify. Narcissists are prone to falling instantly and deeply in love with someone, and they commit quickly. This early devotion and love, nevertheless, are difficult to maintain.
Relationships with narcissists can make you feel alone. You can experience a sense of insignificance and be treated like a mere accessory. Narcissistic partners act as if they are always right, superior to their partners in intelligence, and that their partners are the problem.
The partner, in turn, gets typically upset or angry as a result, and they either try to defend themselves or identify with this negative self-image.
8. Narcissists When Relationship Ends
What a narcissist does at the end of a relationship is highly variable. But these are four possible narcissists break-up games someone with a narcissistic personality disorder might play when a relationship is ending.
8.1. Plays the Casanova
If the uniqueness of the relationship and the sex were their main interests from the beginning, a narcissist could act in this way.
The Casanova doesn’t have a strong attachment to their spouse, and they didn’t plan on staying together for a very long time. Hence, as they grow more bored, they come up with ruthless and merciless ways to end the relationship. This could be a sign a narcissist is done with you.
For instance, they might bring their significant other to a party where they actively make plans for the future with another guest who is interested in being more than just friends.
Alternatively, they could start an affair and wait until you learn about it before you decide to leave. This kind of narcissist will be very open about the fact that you are no longer desirable and that they are actively seeking new partners.
The need to exit a relationship with someone who was probably already highly controlling and manipulative may arise from this public display of disrespect and disregard for your feelings.
8.2. Fights It Out
Extreme, late-night arguments that expose irreparable differences are a common cause of couples breaking up. Nonetheless, even in the most extreme situations, people without personality disorders may continue to share a home until one person vacates it the following day.
A breakup fight with a narcissist will be quite different. Narcissists can kick their partners out of their homes in the pouring rain or make them get out of their cars on the side of the road after a breakup. They’ll continue to act in such unusual ways to the end.
Why? Simply put, narcissists value themselves more highly than other people.
8.3. Makes You The Adversary
Unless you decide to leave them they will act stupid, and play dumb. And when you do leave they’ll keep acting stupid and insist they never would have left. A fragile narcissist uses this most frequently.
8.4. Moves You Down The List
Another thing that might happen if you break up with a narcissist, may seem the least harmful, but it can be highly deceptive. Let’s say you break up with your partner, and instead of blowing off steam, they try to keep things civil and moving ahead. It seems wonderful, no? Wait a minute.
This happens when a narcissist leaves you for someone else. To narcissists, people are essentially interchangeable. They make an effort to surround themselves with three to five potential partners who are all pleased to meet them. Then they can move on to the next after being angry with one.
9. How To Cope with Narcissistic Relationships
Those who fall in love with narcissists frequently struggle with co-dependency. Because they lack the self-assurance necessary to set limits or stand on their own, they will tolerate some abuse.
If you find yourself in a narcissistic relationship, you should first acknowledge what you have done and consider any hidden motivations that may have influenced your decision.
Did your parents have selfish tendencies? Do you prefer it when your partner has the reins so you may adopt a more passive attitude? Does being associated with someone in the spotlight make you feel more valuable? Do your own critical ideas about yourself mirror the bad image of yourself they promote through their comments and arrogant attitudes?
It is important to understand your part in a narcissistic connection. Once you understand that, you can start pushing yourself to alter your part of the dynamic. This will then put pressure on your partner to alter their communication style.
You can see how fragile your partner’s self-esteem is and feel sympathy for him or her because of how his or her exaggerated sense of self, superiority, and grandiosity hides the underlying self-hatred and feelings of inadequacy.
Also, by learning to exercise self-compassion, you can increase your sense of self-worth and self-assurance. Avoid being a victim. Act and treat your partner equally in all interactions.
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